After all these years, how can she still make me nervous?
So when you were here, you would leave for the summer and travel there?
Now that you're there, you leave for the summer and travel here?
For a month?...that's awesome, really, really awesome!!
Fuck the regulars at the corner of the bar. You put in more hours a week than I do, your prophetic insight and wisdom disgust me to no end. If I have to hear your opinion one more time on any goddamn thing I might blow my fucking head off in front of you. Exploding it into little pieces, skull and brain matter raining into your Bud Light and Sky and Sprite, in your classic wings and B&C skins, your 18 year old scotch and hopefully, just hopefully, into your fucking pompous mouth. At least you'll have something else to talk about and I won't have the ears to hear it.
Am I getting old? The sex, at this point, is becoming trivial. It's good, don't get me wrong, but what I really want is to wake up with someone, come home from work together, sit on the couch and read with them.
...but I may not be ready for that person yet, so I will pretend I'm not old and enjoy the trivial.
Graham is gone, my dogs are gone...I forgot, this is what it's like to be alone. There's peace and there's quiet...and then there's just...
I was at a concert tonight, standing next to someone who makes me very happy, but has no idea. That wasn't where I was going with this. Watching the crowd, watching them sing along to the music, the stage lights reflecting in their eyes...they were happy. I was happy. I like those moments. I know they will end. They always do. That joy, in that moment, makes all the shit almost worth it. If I didn't have music, I would be like Bob.
It's possible to time travel without a time machine. However, I won't be able to go back and fix any mistakes I've made, because it hasn't been invented yet. But once it is invented, at that very moment, my future self can travel back and keep myself from making the mistake of time traveling back to try and fix any future mistakes. I can't wait. All we need is some exotic matter.
~Dadante
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3 comments:
Exotic matter, hmmm?
I, too am becoming disgusted with a newly hatching Berg phenomenon. But its not a disgust towards, but a disgust inwards. I feel... like a Pepsi. An ineffectual Pepsi.
Anyways, I really like the "if I didn't have music, I'd be like Bob" line. That is a solidly transparent conveyance of emotion.
Keep the black book working, I like it.
If and when a time machine is invented I have no doubt I will drive myself headlong screaming into insanity. How many things would I try to go back and change? How many moments would I try to relive? Like my own groundhog day trying to hold onto the good moments that seem so few and far between. I can relate to the ways we let things torture us, or perhaps the ways we torture ourselves. But what do we do? Look back to the good things or forward to more good things? That I have no answer to.
I honestly doubt there's a person on the planet who hasn't felt the same. Maybe it's loneliness that prompts us to make a commitment to love. Either way, I think most of us spend a good part of our lives trying to find someone to share our moments with.
"This moment keeps on moving; we were never meant to hold on."
I'll be home soon honey,
-g
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